Why subscribe?
Subscribers have access to exclusive content, text and audio, and a full run of the archive—as of the summer of 2024, more than 250 essays and confessions are collected here, spinning off my eponymous memoir for Audible. And I’ll return your calls.
Nutshell version.
E.B. White, the great New Yorker essayist, wrote that his life’s course was set when he made what he described as ''the enormously important discovery that the world would pay a man for setting down a simple, legible account of his misfortunes.'' If you read the How to Succeed in Sportswriting (without Really Trying) Substack long enough, you’ll conclude something like, “Gee whiz, and I thought I was in a stupid business.” So many people in other walks of life have told me that they’d love to switch places with me, at least for a day; at the same time, so many of my fellow critics of the perspiring arts have confided in me and expressed regrets about the choice they made to become press-box regulars. A regular reading of How to Succeed in Sportswriting (without Really Trying) will cure you of any desire to get into the biz; for those already in it, hey, misery loves company.
What people are saying about How to Succeed in Sportswriting (without Really Trying)
Plaudits for the Audible Original from a few writers whose work I respected, admired and envied. They constitute a Murderers’ Row.
From Bill Scheft, David Letterman’s former head writer and a former sportswriter: “The only thing I miss about being a sportswriter, and I mean the only thing, is sharing stories with other sportswriters late at night, ten minutes before last call. All the stuff that never saw the light of print and never made it pass an ass-covering editor. Now thanks to Gare Joyce and his singular, vivid, wry prose, I don't have to miss it anymore. And neither do you.”
From Robert Lipsyte, the New York Times columnist in much better days: “Just another sports hack's scam, pretending to offer a loser's advice, then unloading a bunch of terrific stories. Call his bluff. Read this book. Listen to the bitter end. Pure fun.”
From Michael Farber, Sports Illustrated: "This is the writer's life, a sparkling memoir of the stories behind the stories behind the well, other - even better - stories. Gare Joyce is a more compelling character than the people he has chronicled through the decades. They were lucky to have had him at a keyboard. So are we."
From Mike Sacks, New Yorker humour critic: "I love books about worlds I know very little about, in this case the down-and-dirty universe of a sportswriter. What I like even more are the honest books about the writing life, with zero bullshit to get in the way of the stories. And there are plenty here. I say this as someone who hates reading about sports but loves the characters behind them: With How to Succeed in Sports Writing, the amiable Gare Joyce has most definitely found his 'arm slot.' Highly recommended.”
From Peter Golenbock, author of New York Times bestselling sports histories including Dynasty: The New York Yankees 1949-1964 and The Bronx Zoo. “Right now Gare Joyce is the most interesting sportswriter in North America.”
From Jeremy Schaap, ESPN nonpareil commentator and reporter:
From Gene Weingarten, formerly of the Washington Post, the only two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for feature writing:
